Take Action

Create your own Family Drug Prevention Plan:

• Start communicating early and often. For example, ask open-ended questions regarding how your kids feel about tobacco, inhalants, illicit and prescription drugs.

• Be aware of your family history and genetics in regard to drug and alcohol addiction and share the information with your teen. 

• Be consistent.  Consistently enforce other house rules as well, such as curfews and boundaries.  Make sure both parents are sending the same message.

• Elicit the support of other adults who share your value system to mentor your teen (e.g., coaches, teachers, aunts, uncles, neighbors). Teens often hear messages best when they are reinforced by someone else.

• Get to know your child’s friends and their parents. Don’t assume that other families share your family’s values.

• Stay up until your teen gets home at night, not only to ensure they are respecting their curfew, but also to observe their behavior and learn about their life, a recent survey found that 50% of the kids who come home after 10:00pm on a school night say that smoking marijuana, drinking alcohol or other drug use occurs (CASA 2008).

• Know your kid’s room and car. No area is off-limits in monitoring for drugs or paraphernalia.

• Place the computer in a central location to monitor your child’s computer habits.

• Form a network of support with the parents of your child’s friends. Be particularly aware of overnight activities and make sure the other parents are also involved in some form of monitoring.

• Lock your liquor and medicine cabinet and keep tabs on all substances.  Teens today say that prescription drugs are easier to get than beer (CASA 2008).

• Properly conceal and dispose of old or unused medicines.  Take off any identifiable or renewal information on prescription bottles or pill packages before discarding. Dispose of any unused pills properly – mix them with used kitty litter or coffee grounds.

• Set clear rules for teens about all prescription drug use, including not sharing medicine and to always follow the advice, warnings, dosages, and be aware of all possible side effects.  Be a good role model by following these same rules with your own medications.  Do not share your prescription drugs with your teens.

• Use a home drug test as a way to prevent and, if need be, intervene in a teen’s drug use.

If Drug or Alcohol Use is Found - What Parents Can Do:

There is no easy answer for how to deal with teen drug and alcohol use. A straightforward discussion with your son or daughter may be the best way to start. You may want to seek out the advice of someone you most trust - perhaps a close friend, school counselor, or clergy.

If you’ve found your son or daughter smoking marijuana or drinking alcohol, it is especially important that you not overreact. Tobacco, marijuana and alcohol are often considered gateway drugs that lead to more serious drug use, but are also substances that may reflect relatively common experimentation that is frequently characteristic of teens. Remember that truly experimental use is brief and that ongoing use in the face of consequences from parents is apt to reflect drug abuse that has become a serious problem. If you feel absolutely confident that your son or daughter has only "experimented" and will not continue, you may need to do little more than clearly state your position regarding abstinence, provide a firm, but short-term consequence, and then closely monitor their behavior using observation and drug testing. However, watch your own tendency to deny the existence of a problem.

When a young person has begun to use methamphetamine, cocaine, or one of the pain killing drugs known as opiates, parents need to seek out professional assistance more quickly due to their potential to be highly addictive. Certainly regular drug testing at home makes sense, but consultation with a substance abuse professional is apt to be extremely important if you discover that your son or daughter is using these highly addictive drugs.

Many, perhaps most, teens have used drugs for several years before their parents became aware of the extent of their use. When considering the gravity of the situation, examine issues like school adjustment, friendship patterns, family communication, their willingness to adhere to family rules, and the degree to which they are willing or driven to take risks. If your teen is more deeply into substance abuse or has other emotional, behavioral, or academic concerns, immediate consultation with a behavioral health or substance abuse professional is apt to be the safest option. 

If You Know that the Problem is Serious:

1. This is no time to be a wimp. Don't overreact and lose your temper, but your teenager needs a strong message that drug and alcohol use is not acceptable.

2. A parent support group is likely to be very useful. Consider joining Parents Anonymous, Alanon, or notMYkid's Embrace support group.

3. Get to know the typical drugs of abuse, what their effects are, and what your adolescent is likely to look like if using a drug.

4. Talk with your teen. Don't lecture, be clear, and keep your message short & to the point. Be open to communication from your teen. 5. Get to know your kid better. Find out how she or he sees him/herself, where she or he wants his/her life to go, and what's important. Find out what drugs & alcohol do for him/her. Spend time with your son or daughter in recreation and family activities.

6. Learn the names, addresses, and phone numbers of your teen's friends. Get to know the kids if possible. Form a network with the parents of your son/daughters peers. Keep in touch with one another. Don't be put off if other parents don't share your concern about substance abuse.

7. Check your teens whereabouts regularly. Don't be too shocked if you find that another parent is using drugs with them, allows substance abusing parties at their home, or is supplying the kids with drugs and alcohol.

8. If you learn that one of your teen's friends is involved in drugs, don't keep it a secret from that youngsters parents . . . you would probably feel sabotaged if another parent hid that information from you.

9. Use discipline that is apt to be effective. Restrict or eliminate use of a car, take away cellular phones, or beepers, and limit unsupervised free time unless your teen is committed to being 'clean and sober.' Set clear, firm, and reasonable limits. Be consistent.

10. If your son/daughter says that she or he wants to have a sleep-over, check with the other parent to insure that the youngster has permission. If your teen wants to sleep away from home, check to be certain that the other parent will be home and determine if the other parent has the same curfew, values & expectations as you do. Kids often select homes of absent parents for sleep-overs and all-night drug/alcohol parties.

11. Get "Caller ID" and "Anonymous Call Rejection" on the phone line that your youngster uses. Know who is calling your son or daughter. If you question their whereabouts when they go out in the evening, require that they call home from a "land line" phone so that the location they are calling from appears on your "Caller ID." You'll probably want to have "Caller ID" and "Anonymous Call Rejection" on the main phone line to the house as well.

12. Strongly consider encouraging your son or daughter's involvement in a twelve-step self-help support group like A.A. or N.A. (teen group), or a support group provided by the guidance department at your son or daughter's high school. Go with them or link them with a friend or relative so that they don't feel uncomfortable about attending.

13. If other members of the family have a drinking problem, abuse prescription medication, or use illegal drugs, it will be important to deal with these issues at the same time as your son/daughter's use.

14. Kids dealing with substance abuse need to avoid the people, places, and events that have been associated with their use. It is extremely unlikely that your teen will stay sober if they attend unsupervised 'parties' where drugs & alcohol are available.

15. Monitor or remove alcohol from the home if alcohol use is recognized as a problem. Help them locate sober activities. Read #14 again - this is important.

16. Find out where the money is coming from to purchase drugs and/or alcohol. If it's from your ATM card, wallet, or pocketbook, keep them out of reach. Think about the amount of money that your supply your son or daughter for allowance, lunches, gas, etc. Don't be too surprised if you find them stealing from yourself or others to finance their use of drugs and alcohol.

17. Use a home drug test kit to help monitor sobriety. Become aware of how users often "fake out" drug tests and don't get conned. A urine sample that is collected in the early morning will have the widest window for drug detection. The home drug test kits have the clear advantage of allowing for an immediate test result. Be certain that the collection of the urine sample is closely monitored so that your teen has no opportunity to dilute, contaminate, or switch the urine sample.

18. If left unchecked, the use of drugs will often increase in frequency and intensity. You can anticipate that the types of substances that are abused will progress to more potent types of drugs. You can use regular home drug testing to monitor changes in the types of drugs that are abused and can obtain a “quantified” drug test from the lab to determine if the amount of drug in a person’s body is increasing or decreasing over time.

19. If you decide to work with a professional for counseling, be sure to check the credentials and experience of the therapist. Most counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists are generalists who do not have specific expertise in substance abuse. They may actually make the problem worse by addressing the wrong issues. Many substance abuse professionals are members of NAADAC, a professional association, while psychologists with specific expertise in addictions are likely to be credentialed by the American College of Professional Psychology. You will want to insure that a professional that you select is certified or licensed as a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Check with your state or province Board of Behavioral Health Examiners, Board of Psychologist Examiners, or Board of Medical Examiners.

20. If the problem is serious, group counseling has the edge in terms of effectiveness with Intensive Outpatient Groups probably the single most effective method of outpatient treatment. Insist that you as parents are actively involved in the treatment process.

Intervention Options

Individual and Family Counseling - Usually once a week - good for dealing with the family issues & personal problems that accompany drug abuse, but not very helpful in gaining sobriety skills. Select a therapist with strong substance abuse expertise or you will probably deal with the wrong issues.

Group Therapy - Usually once a week for 60-90 minutes. Good for drug education, gaining skills to be sober, and dealing with emotional issues related to drug abuse and addiction.

A.A., N.A., C.A. (Twelve Step Meetings) - Often believed to be the single best way to get and stay sober. New members should attend multiple meetings per week and need to obtain a sponsor.

Drug Testing - Recommended to 1) determine types & amounts of drugs used, 2) give the user an additional excuse not to use, 3) allow parents & therapists to know if intervention is working. Drug testing should not be used as an intervention without psychotherapeutic support.

 

Intensive Outpatient Programs - One to four hours of outpatient group therapy and drug education per day up to five times per week. Programs are often comprehensive & effective . . . if you can get your son or daughter to participate.

 

Wilderness-Oriented Treatment - These are intensive live-in programs in remote locations that combine confidence building elements of outward-bound experiences with education, counseling, and group therapy. Follow-up with a therapeutic program at home is necessary. If drugs or alcohol is a serious program, try to find a program with a strong 12-step-orientation.

 

Boarding Schools / Residential Programs - Many traditional boarding schools are filled with substance abusing kids who receive little or no help with the problem and often get worse. Residential treatment programs and specialty boarding schools often have excellent success, but be certain to talk with several graduates of the program about the quality of the program. Keep in mind that the primary job of each program's admissions counselors is "marketing."

 

Psychiatric Hospitals - Good for stabilization especially if the addiction is severe or the client is also severely depressed or suicidal. Short-term inpatient programs should be combined with an intensive outpatient program to enhance their effectiveness. If you admit for son or daughter, be certain that the psychiatrist has a strong track record with addictions - most don't.